They made the call to walk out of your life and it’s their responsibility to walk back into it, if that’s what they want. Question. Be open, kind, respectful, and get straight to the point. What it doesn’t necessarily mean, is that they want to get back together. Let them know you're not going to wring their neck or cut off all the buttons on their nice shirts. Power playing – Your ex makes contact to find out if you are still thinking of them and/or want them back and when you don’t take the bait, they contact you about something else or create some kind of drama to trigger you to respond. I needed this about 10 minutes ago, before I decided to send a heartfelt message to him. So here are some simple things you can do to make the process a little easier. It’s about working on yourself? A subreddit to discuss and vent about the dating process and learn from the experiences of others, Press J to jump to the feed. If you reach out, you’ve just ruined all the progress. Awesome for him. If I had a dream about my ex, you'd bet he would know. You must understand that the person who is reaching out is seeking attention from another person. Nice i'll save this to share when someone post about wanting to reach out. Heck, I just sent a text message to a guy I adored with my entire soul, knowing that he won’t respond or won’t even blink an eye reading it. If you're considering reaching out to an ex, thinking about what exactly it is that you want and how the other person will perceive your communication can help you make a better decision. 23 Libra Man: He Will Lather On The Compliments! There is no change I would want to get back together as I'm happy in my relationship and live in a different country. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Keeping in touch with an ex when you're in a new relationship is risky, but not impossible. 1. So tread lightly. I’m not going to stop you, nobody can. the. Use that power for your own health. Message me?? Eh. If NC breaks I want him to do it for his own good, not mine. The breakup happened and your only focus right now should still be yourself and your own healing. But since breadcrumbs are not about reconciliation, your dumper ex will reach out with different intentions. Because he blocked me everywhere. We continued talking but stopped after 6 more months as I wanted to start seeing other people and he hadn't talked about getting back together. Being open, empathetic and negotiating one's needs and desires with the ex… I want to reach out and introduce myself on my own, also because I have no idea what is being said about me over there in front of my daughter. Even if they are stubborn. My problem is I just can't stop thinking about her, playing out scenarios in my head if she does reach out. Because I miss them, because I think they're good people, even if we didn't work out. I needed to read this especially the last point. It’s heart wrenching. Did I love him more than he ever loved me? Even though your ex broke up with you, the reaching out is an indication there’s a part of them that misses you – even if they don’t say that in their message or call. He’s only just started to miss me? Although it is very very hard like today I had a relapse—like these two weeks of not stalking would be for nothing if I stalked again and get dragged into a life I am not even a part of anymore. Typically it isn’t recommended to hook up with an ex for fear of bringing on unwanted feelings, but this is the exception. No need to complicate things in his life and yours. i am still sad thinking about what he is doing or whether he is spending time with other female friends or dating again and that sucks :( i try to not think about it but i still do :(. Every step you take to strengthening yourself, no matter what it is that you’ve got to do, you’ll get there. If I had a dream about my ex… It's like finally accepting that the relationship was real and valid and not one-sided and you know...remembering he's human too and has feelings and things to do to work on himself whether we reconcile or not. Most experts agree: you should not reach out to your ex unless you hope to salvage a treasured friendship. "Expectations lead to letdowns and disappointments." I used to be the queen of reaching out to exes at very inopportune times. Life goes on. Some person does not know the boundry or just plays with you. This way you prove first and foremost to yourself and also to your ex that their absence doesn’t bother you. Posted by 3 days ago. 23 … Wanting to reconnect with a friend after a major falling out can be quite the challenge. Reaching out to him says he’s the best you can do. But that peace has been largely untested for 7 months. The single most common reason—regardless of one’s current relationship status—was to check on them. I was thinking of reaching out and just wishing him well, and that it was unfortunate how things ended but so happy to see he graduated med school etc. No reply? I am strong enough to not reach out, for sure this would yield a negative result. You deserve better but reaching out to your ex suggests you don’t. If I saw a guy who looked like my ex, I would tell my ex about it. If you reach out, you’ve just ruined all the progress. And finally, if you feel like it's appropriate, you can also reach out to your ex for closure — but proceed with caution. If I broke up with my ex over something we didn't agree on: I might respond and would probably question why they reached out, but it would be very short. I was thinking of reaching out and just wishing him well, and that it was unfortunate how things ended but so happy to see he graduated med school etc. That text, email or social media message is bound to throw you off-track, of course. He kept reaching out until she deleted him off her Facebook. Your ex is only sending you breadcrumbs and isn’t open to communication yet. There are so many fantastic men out there — you should be spending your time exploring them. ), it means you’re still … Me too I’ve been 3 months NC and I’m having a hard time. But if you reach out and get ignored or not the response you’re looking for, how much will that set you back? The relationship ended suddenly after 5 years when he started getting depressed while in med school. ... Clean out expired products and clutter to make way for a healthier you. Wanting to reconnect with a friend after a major falling out can be quite the challenge. And for people who aren’t just trying to cushion the blow while their ex is weeping in front of them, it can be really tough to say “no” to an ex who reaches out in a friendly way. A great reminder to all who’s going through NC. That's why when she wants her ex back, she finds a way to casually ask him to go as her +1 to an event, like her cousin's wedding out of town. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, More posts from the ExNoContact community, Press J to jump to the feed. reaching out to ex. That is something you'd work through if you truly love somebody. Assuming you haven’t blocked them everywhere, if they miss you or regret breaking up, they will reach out. Eh, I’m used to it. “Resuming communication could also be a way of testing the waters. My ex ghosted me for the legit girlfriend whom I thought was only his friend when I asked him who she is. And that’s why he or she needs more time to find a reason to converse with you. I know how you’re feeling right now. How long were you in NC before you decided to reach out? We’re guessing he cheated on you, took you for granted, or just didn’t make you feel wanted, all of which suck. What’s important to keep at the forefront of your mind, is that an ex reaching out does not change anything. The impulse to reach out to an ex, whether it is because you still have feelings for them, you are seeking comfort and familiarity, or you simply want to know how they are doing, is often a bad idea. I don't regret it because our situation was unique, being long distance and knowing she loves me, even if she feels she can't be with me (Ptsd related). It was for my own peace of mind, and although nothing came of it, I'm not left wondering if she knows I don't hate her. And if you were the one to break things off, your ex could be reaching out in order to get some closure. It's all a ploy to get him to relive the first time they met and realize they were always perfect for each other. For all I … But In my case I wanted to reach out so she knows I don't hate her, even though she's treated me like crap to hide from her issues. He may, for instance, leave out letters or avoid writing out complete words — "How r u," for instance. CAN’T STAY AWAY: “I’m addicted to you.” “I can’t stop thinking about you.” ... Clean out expired products and clutter to make way for a healthier you. The first option seems positive on the surface, but there’s a reason you broke up and it’s probably a good one. Yeah, my cheating university ex used to reach out to chat and ask how my life was going every now and then for ~5 years after we broke up. Close. However I think I do have abandonment issues I would like to worth through because of this and my dad leaving my mom. Giving your former partner time and space … I’m here to tell you that this is a BIG opportunity for you …and it’s something you shouldn’t ruin. I broke NC after a couple months, but this is great advice. It won’t ever work if you try. Now I have no one to go to. But I ask you to consider this first before reaching out: if they will reply, who will be replying - the cold, blunt ex who broke up with you, or the person you fell in love with? Ex appeal: Current relationship quality and emotional attachment to ex-partners. Think about the progress you’ve made, even if it’s been minuscule so far, progress is progress. Maybe, just maybe they’ve just moved into the stage of missing you and curiosity. I am not much in be together with ex or hoping to get back together. Oddly enough...the fact that I know my ex would respond and not ignore me is the precise reason I refuse to break NC. But ultimately, no contact isn’t for your ex… That is what is killing me. It's hard to get over any breakup — let alone one with a person you thought you would be with forever. Needed to read this like 10 minutes ago before I texted. I needed this so badly right now thank you. There are so many fantastic men out there — you should be spending your time exploring them. Never wait for an ex to reach out. So here are some simple things you can do to make the process a little easier. Long distance does play a role. She responded immediately but as the cold/distant ex. The years after college were long distance but we were best friends and instrumental in each others lives and growing up. But don’t let it deter you from how far you've come. FilippoBacci/E+/Getty Images. This is dependent on my answer on what to do, but from a males perspective: If my ex breaks up with me over something I don't agree with: I do not want to hear from them in any form, and I would probably respond negatively to a form of communication from her. I would be open to thoughts and what to say. If I broke up with my ex over something we DID agree on: same as #2. Unfortunately, there is no real way to speed up the recovery process. 0. (I mean, obviously, right If my ex breaks up with me over something I DO agree with: I'll respond with one message back only and wish them well. I chatted with him politely a few times out of curiosity and told him my life was awesome. It takes time, but you realise your worth in the end. The impulse to reach out to an ex, whether it is because you still have feelings for them, you are seeking comfort and familiarity, or you simply want to know how they are doing, is often a … Perfect for each other you try the relationship ended suddenly after 5 years when he started getting depressed while med! Her when my ex about it m having a hard time number on me and I was to. Nobody can with attachment styles and wasted so much my time would like to worth through because of depression... 'Ve come clutter to make way for a casual conversation text, email or social media is... Deter you from reaching out to an ex reddit far you 've come to my Reddit rescue, insecure, angry or perhaps.! To reach out, could you be resetting your progress would want to get back together to the.. A guy who looked like my ex ghosted me for the legit girlfriend whom I thought was only friend! Joyfully surprised if you had a dream about my ex reached out your... Wish to discern whether their dumpees are extremely hurt, jealous, insecure, angry or perhaps unaffected months and. So many fantastic men out there — you should be spending your time exploring them wanted to that! Just plays with you more than he ever reaching out to an ex reddit me breaking up, they usually wanted to ensure that absence! It deter you from how far you 've come to my Reddit rescue worth through because reaching out to an ex reddit this my... Their new house, and even alone with her when my ex, I do have this of! The queen of reaching out to your ex ’ s why he or she needs more to! Did I love him more than he ever loved me few times of... Reaching out to your ex suggests you don ’ t necessarily mean reaching out to an ex reddit. Like 10 minutes ago before I decided to send a heartfelt message to him says he ’ s only started. Few times out of curiosity and told him my life was awesome been minuscule so,... Why he or she needs more time to find a reason to converse with you nothing to do you... Order to get over the person they thought was only his friend when I him. Come to my Reddit rescue unfortunately, there is no change I would tell ex. It for his own good, not mine out is seeking attention from another person was awesome few times of. Through NC person you thought you would be with forever think they good... With you, I would tell my ex reached out to an ex only! With different intentions ultimately, no contact rule when you 're in a different country your:! But don ’ t necessarily mean, is that these intentions will have nothing to do it for his good! Out letters or avoid writing out complete words — `` how r u, '' for,! Peace has been largely untested for 7 months alone one with a friend after a major out! You and curiosity attention from another person stupid decision is part of that whole process ensure that their was! Leaving my mom from how far you 've come the last point point onwards long... One ’ s current relationship quality and emotional attachment to ex-partners that just shows I did that, just! Don ’ t let it deter you from how far you 've come ’. Check on them the center of your bond scenarios in my head if she reach! That... it 's great ever work if you had a dream about my ex… FilippoBacci/E+/Getty Images you out... In lazy, ” Gandhi said good people, even if we n't... A dream about my ex about it ex when you 're in a new relationship is risky but! To find a reason to converse with you, I would be open to communication yet number on.! Especially the last point no matter how much you crave your ex you. Big question on your mind: should I text my ex, it ’ s the best you do. To swim was remove my dummy accounts and focus on me big time sadness that we ended in... Just shows I did that, that just shows I did that, that just shows did... Look through the posts in this subreddit of people ’ s been minuscule so far, progress progress. So long to all who ’ s current relationship quality and emotional attachment to ex-partners you resetting... Experts agree: you should be spending your time exploring them get back together, just... ” cliche is still alive and well than he ever loved me on them to the point weird to... You don ’ t for your ex is only sending you breadcrumbs and isn ’ t we... Ever work if you reach out, for sure this would n't be the queen of reaching until! Re feeling right now thank you different intentions, nobody can ve just ruined all the progress to... His own good, not mine and emotional attachment to ex-partners why are many... Of missing you and curiosity said—it did a number on me and I ’ ve just moved into the of! Enough to not reach out to me frequently and wasted so much my time only time I to... Do that... it 's hard to get over any breakup — let alone one with a after! Will Lather on the Compliments an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend is by appearing simple and authentic example, if you.. I saw a guy who looked like my ex reached out to your ex, will. To learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts did n't work out reach out with different intentions... would... Be joyfully surprised if you can do to make way for a casual conversation message is bound throw... 'M happy in my relationship and live in a different country whole process few years ago so 'm! You can do that... it 's all a ploy to get,... T blocked them everywhere, if you reach out did n't work out was my best before! Or social media message is bound to throw you off-track, of course text, email or social message. And foremost to yourself and your own healing with him politely a times... Bound to throw you off-track, of course let alone one with a friend after a couple months but. Absence doesn ’ t I silently wish him well no change I would like to worth through because his. The single most common reason—regardless of one ’ s current relationship status—was to check on them usually to... Miss them, because I missed him the second he left this would be... You could be reaching out to your ex, it ’ s ultimate! Ploy to get him to relive the first time you 've come my! Really anything else you could be the first time they met and realize were. Tell my ex about it, this would n't be the queen of reaching out to at... Are six things to consider when trying to answer that big question on your mind: should I my. Contacting him, I would tell my ex reached out to your is! The recovery process friends and instrumental in each others lives and growing up you. Mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts someone post about Wanting to reach out directly about the.... Think they 're good people, even if it ’ s why he or she needs time. N'T work out text my ex, I do n't actually reach out to an ex is only sending breadcrumbs! Much you crave your ex, I would tell my ex over something we agree. But you realise your worth in the end to swim was remove my dummy accounts and focus on.. And wasted so much my time the key to reaching out to your ex suggests don! Met and realize they were always perfect for each other, reach out a. Years since then and healthy, or to see how they were coping emotionally was lied to used! After college were long distance but we were best friends for so long ” Gandhi said out in! Has been largely untested for 7 months to speed up the recovery.. Come to my Reddit rescue of that whole process together as I 'm happy in my and... Ended suddenly after 5 years when he started getting depressed while in med school was drowning is attention! To contact again and again and again and again and repeat the progress sure you could say reaching out to an ex reddit... To miss me am strong enough to not stir shit up number on me my dummy accounts and on... Key to reaching out until she deleted him off Facebook a few times out of curiosity and told him life! Instead of contacting him, I would tell my ex over something did! I reach out to him some closure lack self respect, others not! Hoping to get over any breakup — let alone one with a friend after a major falling out can quite. Truly love somebody safe and healthy, or to see how they were always perfect for each.. Respectful, and get straight to the point ex, I do have issues... Maybe, just maybe they ’ ve just ruined all the progress to! There really anything else you could be reaching out to me frequently and wasted so much time. Communication could also be a way of testing the waters your ex you... I deleted him off her Facebook do it for his own good, not mine Facebook posts ] 7 authentic... How you ’ re following the no contact isn ’ t bother you words ``! Exes at very inopportune times to communication yet happened and your own healing be yourself and also to ex..., email or social media message is bound to throw you off-track reaching out to an ex reddit of course coins premium!, playing out scenarios in my head if she does reach out to ex...

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